{"id":1228,"date":"2016-07-29T03:20:43","date_gmt":"2016-07-29T03:20:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=1228"},"modified":"2016-07-29T03:20:43","modified_gmt":"2016-07-29T03:20:43","slug":"evolution-of-bribe-india-corruption-paytm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1228","title":{"rendered":"From Chai-Paani to Scotch: The Evolution of the Bribe"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"container page-content\"><p><span class=\"dropcap\">T<\/span><\/p><\/div><p>he act of bribery is in many ways like the act of sex. Being caught at a traffic light is like the dance of love, where two parties approach each other warily. You talk of lights, traffic, and life, but beneath it all, the subtext runs heavy. Then there\u2019s that moment when the Netflix ends and the chill begins, and both parties give each other subtle verbal and non-verbal cues before actually doing the deed.\n\nThe physical act of bribery though is like bad sex \u2013 you whip it out in desperation, the other person hesitates for a bit, it all ends before it even begins, and the actual deed gets done in under three minutes. After that there\u2019s no question of a cuddle, as both parties rapidly walk away in opposite directions doing their own versions of the walk of shame.\n\nWe\u2019ve all performed this roadside version of sex and lived to tell the tale because money, we\u2019ve been taught, is the answer to most of life\u2019s problems. All problems great and small, judicial and bureaucratic, disappear when they slip through well-greased palms. These palms that need greasing belong to a bunch of people, going through the typical middle-class grind, with aspirations of making it to the other side. The 20s became 50s and then evolved into 100s, but now that life and style have become one solid, hyphenated word, created out of a profusion of Nikes and 12-mega pixel camera phones, palm greasing has changed.\n\nMy friend visited the local BMC office last month to get his name rectified on the birth certificate. This simple-sounding operation, is actually a clusterfuck of bureaucratic red tape, and the only way to get it untangled is to throw money at it. My friend went fully prepared, expecting to pay a bribe, but was instead asked to recharge the babu\u2019s phone for \u20b9500 using Paytm or simply transfer the money using Airtel money. Now the going rate for such minor clerical operations ranges between \u20b9200 to \u20b9300, that too in soiled 100-rupee notes that have a distinctly un-bribe-y feel to them.\n\nMy friend, usually the \u201cfixer\u201d of the group, found himself in a fix for change. He had neither money in his Paytm wallet nor the inclination to give into the clerk\u2019s whims. Repeated offers of cash went unheard, until my friend agreed to recharge the clerk\u2019s phone on the condition that he initiate the process of having his birth certificate corrected. My friend would recharge the phone on his way out, which he did, but for 50 bucks instead of the promised 500. He received a couple of hateful calls that day and the next, but in the end, the hate went away and he walked out 450 bucks richer.\n\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\"><p>A friend once told me how someone at the district magistrate\u2019s office showed him a catalogue for Rado watches with his preferred model coyly circled.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nI didn\u2019t believe the recharge bribe story, until one fine Sunday afternoon, I was smoking in a cab when a pair of hands appeared by the window. They were attached to a traffic cop wearing aviators, an impressionable knock off. He demanded that I pay a fine of \u20b9500 for smoking in addition to a fine of \u20b9300 for littering, after I tossed the cigarette at his feet. I knew what was coming. We\u2019d begin the dance and there\u2019d be some give and take, but suddenly he changed the rules and cut to the chase. Shoving his mobile phone in my face he said, \u201cRecharge kara na, donshe cha. (Recharge my phone for 200 bucks).\u201d\n\nLadies and gentlemen, Bribery V 2.0 has come to town and with it has come incredible convenience. A friend once told me how someone at the district magistrate\u2019s office showed him a catalogue for Rado watches with his preferred model coyly circled; another told me how he was taken to a high- end men\u2019s store because a fat bureaucrat needed an Italian calfskin leather belt. I know of bribes paid in scotch, wine, and other consumables. Then there are the evergreen bribes of the flesh involving top-end hook ups, where bribery doesn\u2019t just resemble the act of sex, it IS the act of sex.\n\nBut perhaps the best anecdote in this new world of lifestyle bribes came from my cousin who needed a property transfer completed. The babu initially demanded a percentage of, which was unreasonable, and after being called out, simply sent my cousin a link to Zivame.com via SMS. The link was to a black, laced camisole. I\u2019ve heard of bridal couture, but it was the first time I\u2019d heard of\u00a0 bribe-al couture.\n\nMy Paytm paandu had no camisole aspirations. He waited, knowing fully well, that electronic bribes are impossible to cover under a sleight of hand like the times when neatly folded 20s or 50s would be passed off as 100 when slid discretely into khakhi pockets. He stood there triumphant, gloating, until in a stroke of sheer brilliance, I decided to be a model citizen and pay the fine, asking for the receipt to go. This unnerved him and a \u20b9200 rupee recharge became chai-paani that is 100 bucks in cash, which was slyly deposited into his shirt pocket out the window.\n\nThe key to this dirty dance is that one has to lead. And that\u2019d better be you.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bribery V 2.0 has come to town. Paying 100 bucks in cash is pass\u00e9, babus now say, \u201cPaytm karo.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1229,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[2074,2075,2076,2077,2078,2079,2080,2081],"class_list":["post-1228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-vice","tag-bribe","tag-bribe-culture","tag-bribery-in-india","tag-corrupt-babus","tag-corruption-in-india","tag-evolution-of-bribe","tag-pandu","tag-paytm"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>From Chai-Paani to Scotch: The Evolution of the Bribe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Bribery V 2.0 has come to town. 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