{"id":110,"date":"2016-03-13T15:48:57","date_gmt":"2016-03-13T15:48:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=110"},"modified":"2016-03-13T15:48:57","modified_gmt":"2016-03-13T15:48:57","slug":"the-buti-call-sanjeevani-uttarakhand-25-crore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=110","title":{"rendered":"The Buti Call"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><span class=\"dropcap\">O<\/span>ne of my favourite pastimes while travelling in Mumbai\u2019s locals is to read the posters plastered all over the compartments: Some advertise coaching classes to improve your academic performance but a majority want to make you perform better out of the classroom. Enter the quasi-medical world of lingvardhak yantras, or penis-enlarging \u201cgadgets\u201d, and obscure herbs that will make you the sexual equivalent of a stallion. My friends and I can spend a whole ride from Churchgate to Virar sniggering about these \u201csuper-sized\u201d claims, but there are those for whom this business of sex is not a joke.\n\nLike Gajendra, for example. Gajendra has been my istriwala (literally, iron guy. Not Iron Man.) I\u2019ve known Gajendra since he was a teenager helping his father iron and neatly fold mountains of clothes. Soon after, Gajendra got hitched and was under pressure to have kids. A son, to carry on his proud lineage. Numerous attempts were futile, but procreation did not begin. The problem seemed to be that things that need to get hard\u00a0for procreation to take off, were not getting hard at all.\n\nIn Gajendra\u2019s world, the solution to these kinds of problems usually lies with babas operating out of old vans, all tricked out with a bed, a radio, shelves full of dried herbs and pictures of sadhus. As rumours of him being naamard flew hard and fast, Gajendra even told me how his brother offered to help him have kids by sleeping with his wife \u2013 an offer Gajendra considered fairly seriously, because after all, his brother was his own flesh and blood. His desperate family even went looking for another wife since this one clearly wasn\u2019t giving him the much-needed boner, but it was becoming too much for Gajendra to bear. I especially remember this time because, suddenly, my shirts weren\u2019t as stiffly ironed as before and the folds weren\u2019t neat either. Getting hard was clearly giving poor Gajendra a hard time.\n\nEnter the nameless dhoti-clad inhabitant of a Matador van\u00a0that\u00a0was a perennial fixture in a bylane close to the chawl where Gajendra lived. This beat-up Matador was occupied by different babas at different times of the year. Ditching the path of scientifically proven Western medicine, Gajendra became the newest patient of Baba Scambonath.\n\nThree thousand eight hundred and fifty one rupees was the cost of a five-week course of medication. At the end of it, Gajendra was assured a \u201csantaan\u201d, provided he followed a strict saatvik diet, and took his meds. Also, he was instructed to stay as far away from even the \u201cchaaya\u201d of any \u201cnari\u201d. Gajendra paid his dues and followed the advice diligently.\n<\/p><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/arrecloudinary-ap-south-1.s3.ap-south-1.amazonaws.com\/res\/arre\/image\/upload\/jadibootibaba\/1457693864.jpg\" alt=\"jadibootibaba\" width=\"728\" height=\"407\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<figcaption>\n<p>Gajendra went to a nameless dhoti-clad inhabitant of a Matador van to try and fix his sensitive issue.<\/p>\n<p>Prakash Singh\/Getty Images<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n<\/figure>\n\nJoining Gajendra in his quest to rise to the occasion, was another one of our friends; Shekhar, the neighbourhood booze-shop owner. Shekhar was getting hitched and he decided he wanted to give his wife more than one reason to scream, \u201cArre majhya deva\u201d. Shekhar, whose main source of comprehensive sexuality education was the interweb, more specifically Pornhub, was of the opinion that normal intercourse should end with both parties invoking God with raised voices and sweaty bodies.\n\nShekhar went for Shilajit, a naturally occurring substance exuded from rocks, and which looks like tar. Found in abundance in rocky mountainous areas, it has been endorsed by Oprah and Deepak Chopra. Shilajit is fabled in Ayurveda for the wonders it can do for your libido. In the Indian imagination, it\u00a0is a bit like the magical, cure-all Sanjeevani herb, which the Uttarakhand government is searching for in earnest (no really, it\u2019s a <a href=\"http:\/\/food.ndtv.com\/food-drinks\/uttarakhand-on-a-hunt-for-life-saving-mythical-plant-1437767\">\u20b925-crore<\/a> buti). Now, Shilajit\u00a0is available as a chemically formulated over-the-counter drug produced by licensed Ayurvedic pharmaceutical companies and should be used under supervision by a legit Ayurvedic practitioner. But Shekhar, like Gajendra, went local. He simply picked up a tola for 10 grand from a bunch of Pathans outside the railway station,\u00a0who claimed that Shilajit users were known to bend iron bars with their bare hands and make love to all of their wives in a\u00a0single night. Shekhar swallowed the spiel and the tar, dissolved in milk every morning.\n<blockquote class=\"quote--center\">In Gajendra\u2019s world, the solution to problems of the sexual kind usually lies with babas operating out of old vans, tricked out with a bed, a radio, shelves full of dried herbs and pictures of sadhus.<\/blockquote>\nGajendra and Shekhar are two parts in a larger, more complex puzzle that has upwards of a thousand pieces. Apart from remedies to boost your libido, remedies exist for everything from hair loss to diabetes to cancer, but aphrodisiacs are the hottest item on the menu even though no medical study has ever proved that aphrodisiacs can boost sexual desire.\n\nBut still the market in \u201crejuvenators\u201d is worth crores, with scores of small-scale pharma companies in the unorganised sector selling the stuff like hot cakes. Some claim to enhance sexual powers, others talk about \u201cre-energising\u201d and \u201crevitalising\u201d. The root of the problem may lie in the fact that the conversation around sex is an uncomfortable one, discussed in hushed tones, relegated to closed doors. Gajendra cannot bear the thought of having an erectile dysfunction conversation with a trained, licensed, qualified doctor whom he hardly knows. The friendly neighbourhood jadi buti-wala, with a saffron scarf tied around his head and who smells of piss, sweat, and hash, is a way more relatable creature who won\u2019t judge him for not being able to hold it up for more than a few seconds.\n\nThe good news is that now, Gajendra can. Two months after baba\u2019s medicine, Gajendra\u2019s wife is now expecting their first child. He\u2019s adamant that the baba\u2019s churan, which consisted of the powdered precious metals \u201csona, chandi, aur pital\u201d, and countless other herbs, helped him and his wife put the proverbial bun in the oven.\n\nAll is well in Gajendra land. Except for Gajendra\u2019s brother. He\u2019s still a fucking creep, that one.\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A multi-crore industry of suspect Ayurvedic performance-enhancers rides on the back of \u201csex problems\u201d \u2013 and the aam aadmi\u2019s inability to openly talk about it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":111,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-people"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Buti Call<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A multi-crore industry of suspect Ayurvedic performance-enhancers rides on the back of \u201csex problems\u201d \u2013 and the aam aadmi\u2019s inability to openly talk about it.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=110\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Buti Call\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A multi-crore industry of suspect Ayurvedic performance-enhancers rides on the back of \u201csex problems\u201d \u2013 and the aam aadmi\u2019s inability to openly talk about it.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=110\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-13T15:48:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1457693869-1024x640.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta 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