{"id":105,"date":"2016-07-24T08:04:42","date_gmt":"2016-07-24T08:04:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=105"},"modified":"2016-07-24T08:04:42","modified_gmt":"2016-07-24T08:04:42","slug":"may-the-4th-star-wars-day-yoda-donald-trump-melania-jedi-humour","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=105","title":{"rendered":"EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Jedi Master Yoda"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

O<\/span><\/p><\/div>

n the occasion of May the 4th<\/a>, lifelong fanboys Weedward and Bongstein, took a break from their hectic lives as the world\u2019s leading investigative journalists, and jumped at the opportunity to have a t\u00eate-\u00e0-t\u00eate with none other than Jedi Master Yoda, who just happened to stop by their office to take a leak. Here are some exclusive excerpts from the interview.\n\nWB: Welcome master Yoda, it\u2019s a pleasure to have you with us today.\n\nYoda: All mine, the pleasure is.\n\nWB: So\u2026 that last Star Wars movie\u2026 that was quite a trainwreck. How come you weren\u2019t in it?\n\nYoda: Left out, I was. Speak to my agent you must, about any such questions.\n\nWB: For those not familiar with the films, your character was played by Deep Roy, an Indian man. Is there any other India connect apart from that we should know about?\n\nYoda: Consult on Mil Gaya Koi<\/em>, I did.\n\nWB: What? Wait? You\u2019re not serious.\n\nYoda: Dead serious I am. Finest moment it was not. Learnt, my lesson was.\n\nWB: Would you care to elaborate?\n\nYoda: Arise, creative differences did. More dialogue Jadoo had. Understand my words, Rakesh could not. Stoned I was, he did think.\n\nWB: No way! Were you really high?\n\nYoda: Yes. Multiple bongs did I tap. Necessary it was, while being made that movie. Cried, died I a little, during \u201cOm Om Om\u201d song.\n\nWB: That\u2019s not what we meant but, ok. So would you say you rely heavily on weed to get you through the day?\n\nYoda: The secret to my energy, weed is.\n\nWB: You\u2019re saying the only reason you\u2019ve lived so long and can pull off Jedi mind tricks is because you\u2019re stoned all the time?\n\nYoda: Shizzle for, nizzle of mine. The secret that is, of the force. Enough weed you smoke, and eventually a Jedi you become. Backflips easy will become.\n\nWB: Talking about burning, what do you think of this whole global warming thing?\n\nYoda: Certainly heard about it, I have. Started the fire you have, invited it was not, but try to fight it you must.\n\nWB: Wait did you just quote Billy Joel?\n\nYoda: Did I.\n\nWB: Did you?\n\nYoda: Did I.\n\nWB: Wait did you quote Billy Joel or didn\u2019t you?\n\nYoda: Did I. (smiles)\n\nWB: Oh. Okay moving on. Donald Trump<\/a> continues to crack down on illegal aliens in the USA. What do you think about the term \u201calien\u201d?\n\nYoda: Worst words, Trump has. Hands too, small are. Not with him, force is. Melania hot, finds me. Anyway, alien I am not, living in the USA since the 80\u2019s I have been\u2026\n\nWB: Are there any particular policies you are against?\n\nYodi: His pro-gun stance, I hate. Only lightsabers, I advocate. All adopt the Jedi philosophy we must.\n\nWB: Being a master of Jedi philosophy, what do you think about existing philosophers?\n\nYoda: Referring to whom you are?\n\nWB: Like Indian gurus, the new-age ones. Those kinds of people.\n\nYoda: The philosophy of Ramdev Baba<\/a>, studied I have. Smokes, he does too. Cow dung, I am sure.\n\nWB: So master Yoda\u2026\n\nYoda: Interrupt you, I must. The time for spliff it is. Take your leave now, I must.\n\nWB: Thank you for your time, master. Great having you! Come visit us soon.\n\nYoda: A lot of thanks, use your washroom, for allowing me. From a pizza I ate earlier, specs of oregano that green dust in your washroom is. May the fourth be with you.\n\n\u00a0\n\nThis is an updated version of an article published earlier. <\/em>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dropped by the Arr\u00e9 office, look who.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":106,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[62,63,64,65,66,67,121,132,133,134,135,136,137,138,71,72,139],"class_list":["post-105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-disarre","tag-arre","tag-arre-digital-platform","tag-arre-originals","tag-arre-reads","tag-arre-text-articles","tag-arre-website","tag-donald-trump","tag-humour","tag-jedi","tag-may-the-4th","tag-melania","tag-movies","tag-star-wars","tag-star-wars-day","tag-web-series","tag-web-shows","tag-yoda"],"yoast_head":"\nEXCLUSIVE! Interview with Jedi Master Yoda<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dropped by the Arr\u00e9 office, look who.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=105\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"EXCLUSIVE! 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