{"id":1004,"date":"2016-07-03T15:11:31","date_gmt":"2016-07-03T15:11:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?p=1004"},"modified":"2016-07-03T15:11:31","modified_gmt":"2016-07-03T15:11:31","slug":"tinder-dating-dating-apps-relationships-worst-dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004","title":{"rendered":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

T<\/span><\/p><\/div>

here\u2019s something up with animals and Tinder. \u00a0<\/span>\n\nAs I scan for prospects on a slow weekend, I am repeatedly offered photos of men posing with a variety of animals. What are these men posing with parakeets and tigers trying to say? Don\u2019t look at me, look at this tiger in a Thailand pool whose butt I\u2019m caressing? Or here is a kangaroo I\u2019m sitting with in potty pose because hey\u2026 I can? Or I think I\u2019ll let my cat\u2019s testicles photobomb me here, because it will make you want me so bad?<\/span>\n\nDid you know that one in <\/span>10<\/span><\/a> profiles on Tinder apparently feature a <\/span>selfie<\/span><\/a> with a <\/span>tiger<\/span><\/a>? Why is everyone suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? I miss the old days when the average Tinder selfie would be of a person against a breathtaking view of Parvati Valley, standing like The Rock with blingy Ray-Ban shades, or posing in front of his gym mirrors, biceps gingerly flexed.<\/span>\n\nI\u2019m not even trying to figure whether these gents are showing solidarity with \u201c<\/span>Dicks Out for Harambe<\/span><\/a>\u201d, or just assuming that the easiest way into a girl\u2019s pants is by standing with a fierce gorilla buddy, their photos accompanied by obtuse captions like \u201cVeni Vidi Vici\u201d.<\/span>\n\nIn the TV show <\/span>F.R.I.E.N.D.S.<\/span><\/i>, Joey and Chandler try to pick up girls by carrying Ross\u2019s baby into town. This cuteness-by-proxy is actually an old technique, now just transferred to the digital swamp. These guys would instead do so much better to memorise that golden rule of actors everywhere: Share screen time with a pet or an infant, and you\u2019ll always lose.<\/span>\n\n

Dogs seem to bring out the worst in these maniacs. Meet Dogfather, a dude I swiped right on who had just one word on his profile: #AnimalLover.<\/p><\/blockquote> \n\nThe fundamental danger of using animals as a connector is that the cuteness factor of puppies or ponies can make sex with their human owners less of a priority. Like the dude I agreed to go home with, but from the start was more interested in meeting his \u201clittle baby\u201d golden retriever than getting it on with him. (A little like the time the guy with a Gibson les Paul asked me up to his soundproof room. He had sex on his mind, but I only had the guitar on mine.)<\/span>\n\nBut the high chance of no sex is not even the main issue as much as guys using animals and birds on Tinder seem to be plain cuckoo. Take Mayukh, for instance. His profile photo was a collage of different flocks of pigeons, but as he informed my friend Santana, pigeons are only one of his many life interests. \u201cHi doll. U must have realised I like birds. I like bird watching too ;)\u201d Another long-suffering friend, Anita K, had to endure ten minutes of a guy telling her how his penis closely resembled the elephant he was standing next to in Kaziranga National Park.<\/span>\n\nDogs seem to bring out the worst in these maniacs. Meet Dogfather, a dude I swiped right on who had just one word on his profile: #AnimalLover. Hey, I like pets too. From the very first to the fourth beer, bro talked about his little baby dog. It seemed cute enough. But when we entered his flat, all I could notice was the overpowering stench. It was dog pee and poop that had been lying around. For days. A mangy and miserable dog was tied up and howling on the balcony outside. When I asked, the guy just shrugged and said it was his flat mate\u2019s dog, so not his problem. And then invited me for a make-out session.<\/span>\n\nLike so much else, Tinder animals turn out to be a young-adult genre of our time. In Phillip Pullman\u2019s <\/span>His Dark Materials <\/span><\/i>series, a human is always shadowed by his animal counterpart \u2013 his daemon \u2013 and if the two are ever torn apart, their souls rot. If Pullman had had the foresight of dating apps, his people would have swiped based on the magnificence of a snow leopard daemon, or the charm of a macaw with purple plumage.<\/span>\n\nThankfully, though, we\u2019re adults on Tinder. So to the otherwise-cute guy who feels the need to morph his face with a filter that adds dog-ears, whiskers and a Goofy-tongue, this is what I have to say: You do not need this pre-pubescent shit to get laid, dude. I am on Tinder because I might potentially have sex with you. But now I won\u2019t, because you seem like a character out of a sci-fi book I have loved, and it\u2019s just too freaky. Please won\u2019t you show your real face, and we can get on with showing other things to each other?<\/span>\n\nSometimes the animals themselves are a grotesque miss, like the guy holding an upside down shark. My friend Anahita used to think I was being a fusspot, until she herself stumbled upon a flurry of dudes linking arms and posing with a gorilla statue on Kolkata Tinder. At least now she admits there\u2019s something freaky about the need to have a furry friend on your profile.<\/span>\n\nBut while the women are clear on their verdict on this trend, the men hold out hope. They look upon women with dog pics as some sort of a cute moment waiting to happen. Like my friend Arjun: \u201cYaar, koi bhi match nahi karta, kya bataoon. So I just look at girls with puppies and do lots of wishful thinking. Shayad 101 Dalmatians wala scene ho jayega.\u201d <\/span>\n\nBut I\u2019m not there yet. I don\u2019t believe I will find my meet cute moment while getting my dog laid but I did find a Tinder profile of an eager-looking Shiba Inu spitz dog. The guy had written underneath: \u201cIf you\u2019re into bad boys swipe left, because I\u2019m a good boy.\u201d I laughed.<\/span>\n\nBut I did not swipe right.<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":124,"featured_media":1005,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[505,1047,22,1051,1794],"class_list":["post-1004","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-people","tag-dating","tag-dating-apps","tag-relationships","tag-tinder","tag-worst-dates"],"yoast_head":"\nSwipe Right if You Like My Mutt!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Arr\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"760\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"425\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Tanya Vasundharan\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Tanya Vasundharan\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Tanya Vasundharan\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87\"},\"headline\":\"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004\"},\"wordCount\":1014,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1495448168.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"dating\",\"Dating apps\",\"relationships\",\"tinder\",\"Worst Dates\"],\"articleSection\":[\"People\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004\",\"name\":\"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1495448168.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87\"},\"description\":\"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1495448168.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/1495448168.jpg\",\"width\":760,\"height\":425},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?p=1004#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/\",\"name\":\"Arr\u00e9\",\"description\":\"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.201.39.237\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87\",\"name\":\"Tanya Vasundharan\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Tanya Vasundharan\"},\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/13.207.105.184\\\/?author=124\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!","description":"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!","og_description":"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.","og_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004","og_site_name":"Arr\u00e9","article_published_time":"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00","og_image":[{"width":760,"height":425,"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Tanya Vasundharan","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!","twitter_description":"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Tanya Vasundharan","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004"},"author":{"name":"Tanya Vasundharan","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87"},"headline":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!","datePublished":"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004"},"wordCount":1014,"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","keywords":["dating","Dating apps","relationships","tinder","Worst Dates"],"articleSection":["People"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004","name":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!","isPartOf":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","datePublished":"2016-07-03T15:11:31+00:00","author":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87"},"description":"Why is everyone on Tinder suddenly so hell-bent on cuddling, caressing, or smooching animals? Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the bicep flexing.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","width":760,"height":425},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?p=1004#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Swipe Right if You Like My Mutt!"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#website","url":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/","name":"Arr\u00e9","description":"In every person lies a creator and in every creator, an enterprise.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"http:\/\/13.201.39.237\/#\/schema\/person\/c910705fbc550f734f99699876ba6d87","name":"Tanya Vasundharan","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/79c9c66441c2e8e45f56fbc5dff59b5f121929cf0f37155a2b618a4623cd13f2?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Tanya Vasundharan"},"url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/?author=124"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/1495448168.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/124"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1004"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1004\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1005"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/13.207.105.184\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}